Travelling around Australia. How fun! Except, of course, during the actual travelling bit. Australia is a huge country. And travelling from one city to another, even within the same state, entails hours of transport.

My recent voyage, from Airlie Beach to Cooroy, was quite a doozy. Guess how long that bus ride was.

Guess! It’s a distance of 992 km.

I bet it you didn’t guess 17 hours, which is how long I was sitting on the Greyhound. No matter how comfy or how many breaks, 17 hours is 17 hours.

So, how can you make the time go by on such a long journey in a confined space?


…or at least try.

But always, after countless futile attempts of getting some shut-eye, a glimmer of hope appears and you gently begin to descend into that ever unattainable relaxing snooze. Then, it’s snatched away and you are quickly grabbed back into the conscious world. Not by a jolt of the bus, as it was instead rocking you sleep in its giant cradling arms. Instead, there is an oblivious soul who cannot properly inhale/exhale during slumber, resulting in quite disruptive SNORT SNORT noises blaring from said soul’s nostrils at regular and consistent intervals. Annoyingly consistent intervals. You think to yourself, “This will soon end. It has to!”… but obvi it doesn’t. The lazy way out of bad situations never works out, especially when your body is so restless the thought of rewarding an itch doesn’t even seem worth the effort.

Eventually, the snoring doesn’t subside, and so your laziness must, and you get out of the pose of perfection that you were sure guaranteed rest, and you search for your handy-dandy ear plugs.

They’re not good enough.

Somehow, this oblivious soul has superhuman nasal capabilities, and it’s roar can penetrate through earplugs shoved deep deep inside your earholes.

All hope is lost. You begin to accept that sleep just isn’t the cards for you tonight. Great. You’ll just have to zombie-walk tomorrow in a new city and try to make new friends with giant puffy eyes.

But that’s not good enough! Your brain is craving a rest. It’s like the call for an addiction taking over your thoughts. Somehow your creative juices start flowing, without any restrictions or moral ground. How can you quiet this obnoxious noise to your ears? Or better yet, how can you stop this obnoxious noise from the source? Your thoughts, under normal circumstances, would be alarming, even bordering on disturbing. But at the moment, there are no rules. Relief is a must and it’s within your grasp!

However, unknowingly, laziness has begun to swallow up your limbs once more. All your plans, though perfect in your groggy, sleep-deprived mind, are fundamentally flawed in the lack of an able willing body to perform them. Defeat starts to show it’s ugly face once more and begins to pull your dreams of dreaming away from you. It was teasing you all along. Dangling hope in front of your eyes only to whisk it away. Gloom again begins to dominate.

Then, suddenly, as if by divine intervention, a miracle, the anonymous soul’s nasal cavities begin to open. The passage is clear! The flood gates are open! All ships-a-go! Thou shall pass!

And the snoring stops.

And you get to sleep.

…At least until you’re awoken by a stranger who takes the seat next to you and you realize it’s well into the morning and your stop is coming up and you have sufficiently drenched your makeshift pillow with delicious drool. So satisfying, it makes you smile.

One thought on “zzzzzz…

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